How do u explain in English, a limited language with far too few descriptive adjectives a FEELING? It’s that feeling of satisfaction, freedom, completeness that we all search for. We can tell each other what situations, encounters, words, activities have given us that FEELING…But how do u describe the feeling itself. Do you ever ask yourself “WHY do I like that?”

I’m still figuring it out myself…but I’m behind in the race. I knew I liked the unusual young and resisted all acting on thoughts from a young age. Some of you, by the time you find someone like me, have an ability to articulate the sequence of events that gave you that feeling on the p. ast at least. I however, am only just begining to understand my complexities and just how MUCH I really enjoy certain things SO much. Truthfully, Ive had ‘”dominant” men most of my life…that wasn’t it. A man’s dominance isn’t the ticket, neither is it what he “does”. What I’ve learned, exclusively from HitachiMan, is that I am wired exactly the same as many of you. It’s entirely about the FEELING around that person and if that feeling is achieved, the activities are fluid and natural….important, but secondary to the feeling that knowing HitachiMan knows that no matter what the activities are, simply the restriction and silent acceptance to be my bad self make me… Unpredictably High Velocity Dirty Bitch, in about 5 mins or less.

Everytime He does restrictive rope bondage my sexual reaction starts immediately. I feel rebellious yet grateful, sneaky yet loyal, naughty yet encouraged to be slutty, and most of all…(this is the truth so listen the fuck up)…MOST of all I feel: GIVEN PEERMISSION AND FORGIVENESS TO BE THE FUCKIN WHORE I LOVE BEING and never can be in real life.

Let’s consider that last sentence for a moment shall we? When else in my whole life is the appropriate time to release and relish this feeling? It’s NEVER permitted when we socialize our young women into our culture’s expectations. Yet, we all know at this point that most of our life’s experiences are shared ones right? We constantly strive to create and highlight our uniqueness…but if we focus on our overwhelming sameness, perhaps we can see that this desire to be given complete permission and forgiveness to feel our inner lusted/wanted whoredom is an ignored SHARED need… I like that feeling so much I simply cannot describe it in words. I can tell you that the feeling of freedom to be myself can’t be accomplished any other way…

I like the feeling of limited mobility because I must pay attention and I like struggling/fighting the ropes when I cum. I like the feeling of being forced to have the Hitachi on my clit until I squirt. I like the feeling of being violated, but not in hate/anger, out of acceptance that I NEED to be allowed to LOVE that feeling of complete abandon instead of feeling shame that my brain even thinks that way.

I can no longer tolerate life without it. I also will not farm out that Dom position in my life to others (uh the standard Is set high). Right now, for the first time in my life, I get to enjoy that complete disregard for inhibitions and just enjoy being the filthy whore I identify with and long for, with a tremendous life energy
that actually gets that it doesn’t define me completely. It’s NOT the doing….its the feeling. No label needed…ive found the secret to risk free awesome whoredom….its a FEELING not a behavior. Some other energy in charge, won’t work cuz that changes the Feeling, while the activity is the same. See how that works? In this situation…I partially get off on thinking/hoping/knowing HitachiMan likes seeing me struggle a lil and cum hard. I also get off on taking that to whatever nasty level I can like rubbing my pussy on the vibrator and seeing how far I can goad him into something else just by being radically into the moment and giving in to the loving of the badness of being bound and visibly lustfully defiant..

Fuckin loved my bday present…thank you HitachiMan for an evening where I’m the victim….lil piece of Heaven.

So to the rest of you closet whores…trust me….we’re all the same, honor your inner wanton slut with responsible but Fuckin fantastic playmates.

Happy birthday to Me….and thank you to the coolest dude.