Someone once told me I was destined to influence people…

I thought I’d completed that task in my professional world pre-Fortunes. I thought I’d retired from such responsibility. Turns out…I’m just getting started!

2011’s Topic: Learning to love your Kinky self! I’m shocked at how many people feel guilt needlessly…shocked at the level of internalized self loathing for taboo urges.  I too experienced confusion about my THOUGHTS/WANTS/URGES in my younger years. And you know what? I’ve learned the following things:

Dont engage in long term relationships in dishonesty…this is a breeding ground for GUILT and SELF LOATHING.

Find Playpartners that are able to help you achieve FEELINGS you seek in playtime. Activities are important…but the FEELINGS are what matter. Dont put yourself in situations that dont match the feeling you seek, no matter the activity, it could result in further guilt/remorse/self loathing. Not worth it, especially when first entering playtime experiences.

Stop feeling guilty about THOUGHTS. Thoughts dont manifest into action unless you initiate it. Why cant we just enjoy our deviant thoughts…leaving those deviant fantasies that are unsafe to act out to remain as FANTASY. Fantasy never hurt anyone…stop feeling guilty about them and learn to enjoy/control them.

Nuture yourself by living authentically. No need to lie…but also no need to share private information either. Keep your intimacies intimate…but be honest with yourself.

Example: We ALL crave feeling slutty on some level, promiscuous/lusted/craved. In order to feel this FEELING…many go for the obvious activity…indiscriminate fucking/attention seeking behaviors/excessive flirting etc. In these visually bold behaviors we achieve the reaction from others that give us the “slutty” feeling. Hmmmmm….I’ve done some of those things myself as a young person. Then…I discovered the difference between achieving the REAL feeling and all that bullshit we do to kinda get it. I support the following motto: THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE, and fine line, BETWEEN BEING A SLUT AND FEELING LIKE ONE. Find your feelings in the right playpartners, be authentic, SO SO SO much more satisfying than playing it out incompletely in risky behaviors that will breed GUILT and SELF LOATHING. See how that works?

-this is what I say to Guilt and Self Loathing!