I get calls every day from men who have ‘been in training” for X number of years…with this mistress or that domima. Many have seen a myriad of pros over the years. That all by itself, wonderful. I’m encouraged that some men have the follow through on their desires to the degree that they will comtinue to seek them out over a lifetime.
Here’s where it becomes sticky.
“When I saw this one Domina in Timbucktoo, she did __________ and _________ and _________ for $50, that’s what I’m looking for”.
“I was in SO training for 3 years with a Mistress. She ____________(insert a 15 minute description of her awesomeness).” “Great, why are you calling ME?” “Oh, unfortunately she moved away”. Special.
Somedays, depending on my mood, I take these requests as an opportunity to hold my own confidently in the sea of pros. However, somedays, I take these requests as an insult. Let me set the scene from the other point of view for you…
In the ProDomme world, you are coming to a preset session. Length of time, session activities, etc. are all fairly well established before arrival. You are attending your own fantasy. Each player has responsibilities in this scene. YOU have dictated most of the session. My job is to be my dominant self while performing the activities requested. Right? Well then wouldn’t it also be fair to say that your role is to be the obedient, worshipping slave? Do I feel adored when given a 15 minute rendition of your former mistress? No. Do I feel special when you have sessioned with EVERY pro in town (and neighboring states!!!). No. I feel next in line to audition. Who’s the puppet?
Here is the resolution: keep it to yourself. Why must I know? I have a friend who has literally sessioned with every pro listed on backpage for years. He can tell you everyone’s information, habits, etc. When I encounter these clients…I have started calling them ReTreads. Seen too many, never satisfied with any, critical, gossiping. Yeah, I said it GOSSIPING.
Ok, I do understand those on a quest to find the one woman they are intoxicated by. I get that one must see many to find the one they can’t live without. I support that. Particularly because our Pro community is so small, when someone new arrives…yay! But unless you are trying to tell her “hey, this one chick did this and I really liked it”…there’s no reason to discuss who else you’ve seen. IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to the current Domme, to hold your side of the fantasy that she’s the one you have been waiting for.
There is a dramatic difference in my reaction to a client who articulates his adoration well and one whos attitude is merely testing to see if I have what it takes. YOU have just as much responsibility in the successful outcome of your fantasy as the Pro you hired. If YOU dont fulfill your worshipping/submissive role, how can you expect her to fulfill her powerful role?
Sometimes I get feedback “you aren’t Domme enough”…then the next session I’m more hardcore and I hear “you are a little intense”. Shit…cant win. Who’s the Puppet? How do you want me today sir?
I was a little mean to a guy on the phone on Wed. I apologize dude…I was grumpy. But he started the conversation right off with “I’m been serving BlahBlah Blah”…I’m SURE he and others do this to demonstrate to Me that they are serious players and not to be offensive. But somedays I don’t hear that.. I hear, “I’m a ReTread who is never satisfied, just wanna see what you will do”. My bad.
I once had a kidnapping where the guy requested an all female team to abduct him, inescapable bondage, etc. After FIGHTING TOOTH AND TOENAIL FOR HOURS WITH THIS PRICK, the scene was finally done. Only then do I discover he had re-enacted this scene several times all across the US and his true goal was to escape. Bizarre. I explained that most people who I kidnap…want to pretend. For fun, prick. I can only assume he requested an all female team to boost his odds. Weak. Wrong team prick…session ended with you still Mine. I win.
Point is…when I hear those words “I’ve seen so and so” I immediately start thinking…is this an innocent who truly is just shopping to find his intoxicating Domme? Or…is this a guy who has other intentions. Is he telling me this to establish he’s a real player in the game? Or is he bragging about what a Domme whore he is. Is he a local gossiper who spreads stupid half truths about each of us? Or is he just tired of the local fare and wants to try something new. Not all of these are bad…but I’m offering this so you can understand what the woman on the other end of the initial phone call is assessing (in seconds mind you. We ARE brilliant like that). Have patience if I don’t…and keep it brief. If you want to tell Me about past sessions, make sure its to enrich your session with Me!
And then…there are the real offenders.
1)Price Shopping-I’ve had occasion to be in the company of other Dommes while a new client is “shopping” both of us simultaneously. I got a chuckle from a text from another local fabulous saying she and another were being hit up at the same time too. My tendancy…in these situations, is to decline the session immediately. You aren’t lookin for ME…you are just lookin. Most of the time, you are budget entertainment in these situations anyway.
2)GOSSIP-Recently I had a gentleman inquire about a session with Me, book elsewhere, and then sent me an update about session price, activity, Domme’s attitude, wardrobe, etc. I was shocked. GOSSIPER who thinks he’s helping me? Not sure….
3)WHOS THE PUPPET? The guy I WILL NOT session with EVER….”what kind of wardrobe do you have”, “how tall are you”, “Can you do ____ and ____ and _____ after you do _____ to me?” I once had a guy ask me if I could role play like I was shorter. No…dumbass, not any better than you could rold play smarter. I’m cool with the Domme shopping to find who meets your need. I’m UBER disgusted with the guy who calls wanting me to wear purple latex, red nail polish, black 6′ heels, SILKY (not lacey) thigh highs, be cooly reserved without being overly bitchy while performing extreme CBT and…acting shorter than I really am. Who is the little bitch in this scenario? I can tell you right now I WILL NEVER ROLE PLAY YOUR LITTLE BITCH! I get that some fantasies are intricate and make or break on the silky vs. lacey.,..OK. I encourage you to find someone who gives you the ValueMeal Menu. Then, You can pick your #3 large sized with a side of silky. Meanwhile, I’ll be myself, dressed in whatever I thought was sexy that day…
All of this isn’t a condemnation…its me venting 100’s of phone calls a week.
My FAVORITE players know what they want but are flexible, are able to fulfill their own role while they rightfully expect me to fulfill mine, want to experience NEW things instead of rehashing the same scene over and over, seasoned veterans who want to go with My flow and enjoy, newbies who want to be turned out. Its all in the attitude and how you present yourself. I’m getting stickier and stickier about who I spend my time with.
Moral of the Story: instead of me jumping through hoops to be exactly who you want me to be…I’m going to continue being just my fabulous self.
P.S.- To the Gossipers. I live by the Caribbean saying, “Do so eh like so”. Our version, “Treat others as you would have them treat you.” If you talk shit about someone to Me, you will talk shit about Me to others. You won’t like my response and I won’t respect you.