Heres an interesting and touchy subject…regulars who session elsewhere. I’ve written on it before, but that would be way back in the archives here and since this came up for me recently I’m going to share my considered feelings on the matter.

When I develop a trusting relationship with someone to provide them with deepset fantasies…the communication and time spent in learning that person’s needs, desires, limits, thoughts, feelings, expectations, fears, motivations surrounding their fantasies…it seems perfectly natural to feel a sense of ownership or responsibility to fulfill them right?

What happens when that client goes elsewhere and discloses a whole host of new information to a new provider?

I used to say, before I was too caught up in the politics of our community, ‘let them go where they want…its their money, their time, their body, their fantasy!”  I had to relearn this value recently…


Recently…an awesome pervert I know and have seen many many times visited another local Domina and used me as a reference. Had he not used me as a reference…I probably would have been blissfully unaware of the event. Instead, I had quite an emotional response (internally, you will NEVER see me act a fool!). I wondered “why? what is he missing here? did I say/do something?” I mulled it over and over for DAYS…brewing all the possibilities. I felt jealous…OMG? Really? Jealous over this stuff? Um…..

I’ve seen two providers scrap it out over a client…LOOKED RIDICULOUS. That wont ever be me!

Then…after he came back (um DUH, if yer a strap lover where the fuck are you going anyway?)  having not had the greatest time…I realized I’d relearned a valuable lesson I already knew.

What y’all do on your time really isnt any of my business…

Hey Holly…how about you NOT meeting your own personal emotional needs from clients or Miss Fortunes…Just a thought girl. Fuck, what is wrong with THAT picture? 

So…I really needed to tell myself to LIGHTEN UP. I told myself from the beginning that the day this isnt fun anymore I’m back to my real career. So…lets get back to the fun shit!

To that end…dont use me as a reference for another person who is providing similar stuff K? Keep it private if you plan on returning…I dont want or need to know. I DO know that you will be back…C’mon, there isnt another ME :)

I’m taking a personal day today to goof off! Where shall I begin in my freetime frolic…