Has everybody noticed? Its SPRING, my favorite time of year… and thusly, I’ve abandoned my Pervert post to frolic in the sun. Yesterday I spent most of the morning walking…might as well exercise while tanning right? Well…kinda.

My first college degree was in Horticulture (BA Washington State University has a BOMB hort program!!) and I was a biology transfer from community college (geez was that a lifetime ago???). I had a plan to graduate from Hort with a minor in Greenhouse Mgmt and start a commercial greenhouse for ornamental plants. Many many diversions later…I’ve never used this degree for vocation. Then, about 10 years ago..I moved to Phoenix and discovered, I cant keep anything alive here. I miss seasons and WaTeR…lots of water. I was raised on the Columbia River…literally, it was just past my back yard for 15 years.  Previous to living here…all I had to do was fall in love with a new plant and I could propogate it. Here…I cant raise a cactus. I hadnt noticed until just this spring how much I really miss home, if for ONLY this reason.

So…back to the point, I have a lil Spring Fever happening. This explains why I’ve felt the need to clean out the space, rearrange and redecorate, tan, get oustide, cant sit still, too much shopping, inexplicable need to hunt out second hand stores, and…hold on to your hats… give up coffee for iced tea. Yup… holy shit, maybe Im sick. nope. hmmm,pregnant and “nesting”? NOPE…SPRING FEVER. Yesterday, I walked several miles around my subdivision spying on my neighbor’s yards. WTF actually grows here? sticks and stones apparently. Maybe I’ll just enroll in the extention horticulture program…and do some hands on research to see if I can fall in love with any of the plants here. I miss my old backyard. I had over 100 varieties of roses… a pond…a waterfall…built it myself. Here…Im arguing over what shade of sand is appropriate (FUCK THE HOA). I digress…

While pontificating the finer points of my need to shed winter…lets also examine this week at Fortunesland. Today, Im headed to the studio to finish chores and get ready for the new cleaning crew coming in the morning. Noir is coming tomorrow thru thursday, BB will be visiting friday… and what adventures might I find along the way?

Hitachi…brought me a new double-cock gag…and I enjoyed trying out the big end while he sucked the lil end. I think I sense a theme for the week…. Fortunes Fiending for Satisfaction Week. Now through the weekend…I’m going to be the biggest SLUT. I’m going on a NO MASTURBATION week and I WILL ONLY CUM, FROM TOYS, DURING YOUR VISITS.  Hmmmm…bet this motivates me to be available instead of snooping yards.

If you dont think I can make it a week with no masturbation (admittedly a challenge)…then you should visit and help me out. I’m really not sure I can…

Whats the cure for over self gratifying? for me…. KINKY Un-Sex.